The Burger Baron serves up another pre-lunch smash hit!

By The Burger Baron

Love a bit of spice in your life to wake you up first thing in the morning? Consider treating yourself to some loaded, decadent, yet surprisingly simple and easy smashburgers tacos!

Here’s the cheat sheet…

Smash a patty onto your pan or grill with a soft tortilla on top, once golden brown, flip, add your melty cheese and fold, briefly grilling the back of the tortilla on both sides to melt the cheese. 

Feeling like you deserve a little more for breakfast – of course you do! Perhaps grill some bacon and/or egg at the same time. 

Remove, peel it open (witness an amazing cheese pull beyond any grilled cheese you've ever seen), add your fillings. 

Above are the components for one of my typical breakfast burgers but here’s what I pack into each taco:

• 1 rasher streaky Bacon
• 1 small egg
• 1/2 a hash brown (extra crunch!)
• Pickled jalapenos
• Spicy salsa
• Burger sauce

This little masterpiece is whipped up in a matter of minutes, but alas, the process of consuming sadly also only lasts a matter of minutes. Zero regrets though, this is truly a transformative breakfast experience!

With all the lashings (that you may already have in your fridge), this dish ticks every flavour box: salty, sweet, savoury, umami, sour, with added creamy unctuousness from the cheese and burger sauce and a spicy kick from the salsa and the jalapenos to really elevate the endorphins. It's a wild ride that must be tried. 

What a way to start the day!

Big cooks for huge appetites

By The Steak Whisperer

It’s fairly common knowledge that this past NBL1 (National Basketball League 1) season, the FoB Squad took on the challenge of providing courtside meals for sponsors of the Warwick Senators. What the male and female players around that league found out was that with the FoB Squad onboard, the postgame player meals at Warwick Stadium had therefore taken a massive step forward.

Game after game, week after week, home and visiting teams, men and women, were being treated to protein rich, carb light-ish main meals featuring:

• The Burger Baron’s Smashburgers featuring his otherworldly Baron’s Burger sauce
• FoB steak rolls with the Burger Baron’s chimichurri
• The Steak Whisperer’s “Silly” Cheesesteaks (essentially a very unique angus pure picanha steak roll)
• FoB Steak Nachos and Tacos

By the way, shout out to our good friends at Torre & Mordini Gourmet Meats and new pals at Trigg Pizza (just sayin’, great pizza).

Courtside sponsors love it because the burgers for instance, were created under the excruciatingly exacting measures and processes, penned by The Burger Baron. Little wonder then that heartwarming feedback such as, “Absolutely the best burger I’ve ever had” and “I’m literally thinking about what FoB are cooking days ahead of the game…” has become the norm around the stadium foyer, training facility and warm-up courts. It feels great. But there is a challenge for the FoB Squad to overcome every week as well.

Large humans, enormous appetites and tight windows

It’s not unusual for the FoB Squad to plate up 200 serves of main menu items per game. And because the games are run on a tight schedule, the cook and service timelines are even tighter. The women’s match-up ends and within 5-10 minutes we’re serving up to 30 mains. Ten minutes later, we need to produce between 75 and 95 mains for sponsors; then mains for 25 volunteers, then 13 officials and by the time the men’s game has drawn to a close, we’re ready to do a live prep and serve for 30-40 very big men, most with massive appetites.

It’s a challenge but we love it. Oh, and because quality assurance is something I take personal responsibility for, that means the FoB Squad probably needs to test 5 serves along the way [Ed. I could come and help… seriously, I’m available!].

Athletes also love a side of anticipation & entertainment with their meal but a big “no” to fries

A number of the meals we dish up to athletes are made to order and tailored for individual preferences:

• A triple patty for an energiser bunny point guard
• No chimi or fries for a wet-behind-the-ears, carb-conscious forward
• All the burgers and steak rolls you can pile onto this tray for the high energy power forward/centre from a faraway land (again, hold the fries, give me more protein!).

In all honesty, I’m horrendous with names, especially in the middle (or at the end) of a hectic service, up to my elbows in steak butter, burger mince and extra-virgin olive oil, but I never forget a player’s special request. Especially, if they’re polite, good humoured and can pull-off a passable President Trump impersonation (extra steak roll for you!)

The thing I’ve learned in terms of customer service/retail theatre is that customers will forgive a short wait if they’re invited into: 

• a brief conversation
• a chance to see their roll, burger feast or steak sliced/assembled/presented before their eyes
• impromptu Q&As on grilling, BBQing and life in general.

As some of the home and visiting point guards and coaches tell us, winning is about controlling the tempo, focus and quality. Agreed. That’s also the key to keeping these talented players from all over the league (and the world) lining up for more postgame platters from the FoB Squad.

Hey, if you have a hungry team of athletes, administrators, salespeople, executives or staff that you want to feed and/or entertain, make an enquiry at feaston@feastonbeasts.com and… Feast on!

The Steak butter odyssey is the perfect finish to the start of a feast

By the Burger Baron and The Steak Whisperer

Happily, the dark days are behind us where someone can carelessly douse the quality steak in supermarket tomato or BBQ sauce without being whisked away and thrown in prison to face a life of indentured servitude. I remember as if it was yesterday, my dear departed father looking on in disbelief as barbecue loving Aussies would nonchalantly pour beer on their steaks gleefully watching them bubble and moan on the hot plate before whipping them onto a paper plate and immediately drowning any hopes of a flavoursome piece of beef in a deluge of Heinz or Rosella's finest.

It was hard to watch as a youngster and even harder as a full-grown man to fight back angry tears of resentment when I hear that this practise, that no one really talks about in polite society, still persists. But I do empathise with those that feel embarrassed and driven to avert their eyes at the sight of a naked steak in elegant repose, displayed on a vacant plate – sans sauce to cover its char-less shame. [Ed. Hey man, is everything okay?] Sometimes we simply must consider the “sauce”.

My esteemed colleagues, The Bearded Canadian and The Burger Baron, have distinguished themselves again and again by creating all manner of steak spices, chimichurri varietals and even fruit-based companions to enhance the robust, ketonic, character of the cut. However, these are not gents that rest easy on their culinary laurels. Far from it. Known for both a lively imagination and an almost maniacal inquisitiveness, it's come as no surprise that butter and it's complex and utterly delightful relationship with steak has fallen under the intense gaze of the FoB squad. Let's have a look.

Compounding the issue of steak plus butter

The creation, presentation and ultimately the taste and texture of FoB’s new favourite compound butter was recently rigorously assessed at two of our “tastings” at FoB Central. Here’s The Burger Baron with more:

“So, our mate from Melt Espresso Bar gave us some nduja which is “well spicy” [Ed. A frightening harbinger from our heat-seeking Burger Baron!!!!]. And on their recommendation, we incorporated it into a compound butter. Now this nduja was so-o-o-o-o spicy, and I am the kind of freak that puts Carolina hot sauce on every meal, be warned, I had to dilute it with double the amount of butter to avoid the possibility of panic attacks. However, with some additional ingredients and flavour colours (Ed. What?] some elements of sweetness were brought to the fore and we finished with a delightful accoutrement. And I think you’ll agree that the finished product looks fantastic!”

Consider the source sauce – another amazing recipe, kinda…

Here at FoB, we’re known to keep pushing the possibilities and flavour profiles until it becomes clear we’ve gone too far… and then pull it back. It’s the only way to discover and develop some of our wonderful, otherworldly classics like The Bearded Canadian’s flayed BBQ duck breast in a chilli jam glaze rice-paper roll [Ed. Still recovering!]. So, let’s let The Burger Baron tell us about his latest sauce odyssey.

“…but just when I'm thinking that perhaps I've taken it too far, I realise that I haven't taken it further enough.

Turning our attention to steak frites, I found myself working on a medium rare porterhouse on a bed of shoestring fries. The occasion called for a sauce, so I went with an au poivre sauce and garnished the steak with garlic chives.

The “AP” sauce is hard to describe. It's kind of a compound butter on steroids [Ed. Hungry ASADA officials enter the chat…], that is to say it has about 17 different ingredients brought together via a number of quite complex processes. It's like a party in your mouth, but not like a street party with BBQ sausages. Rather, it’s the kind of high-end aristocratic soiree complete with elegantly prepared canapes that Train gets invited to. The sort of soiree I'm rarely invited to. [Ed. Given your hardline rules on burger regulations I'm not surprised that liberal-minded, low-end burger providers would rather you left your feasting judgements at home.]

Anyway, here’s a basic recipe.

A basic AP recipe 

I was slaving for hours over the weekend over this peppery AP sauce, but it worked and if you give it a go, I think you’ll love it too. Now variety is the spice of life, so this is just a basic guide with more than enough wriggle room baked in for you to get creative and make it your own. 

So, we start with a steak butter base. 

• We take a bunch of steak trimmings grill it in the pan to render out a whole lot of fat 
• We add a very generous serve of butter (again, this Marco Pierre White) 
• Toss in rosemary and thyme and let that sit in there for at least an hour 
• Now add garlic (to taste) and strain into a container. That’s your steak butter and that's… step one 

Let’s continue:

• Take a whole bunch of shallots, chop them up and throw them in a pot
• Add a little bit of olive oil and maybe a bit of chicken stock if you’re feeling adventurous
• Then add cream with a little rosemary and thyme 
• And now for the fish sauce, sweet soy sauce 
• Now it’s time to grind and add some toasted red Szechuan peppercorns, green szechuan peppercorns.
• Mix in with you steak butter, patiently, carefully, lovingly and voila!

From here you can apply to your rested steak or indeed, finish your steak by gently spooning your AP sauce over your steak as it completes its final lap of your pan.

It’s fragrant, flavoursome and ready for you to…

Feast on!

How the Bearded Canadian created another entrée keeper 

By The Bearded Canadian

“He (The Bearded Canadian) is a rare culinary talent… and a bit mad. Even I had no idea what was happening, but I knew it was something I wanted to be around… and feast on.” Train recollecting the birth of another pre-mains Canadian classic

So, a FoB “tasting” is an exciting and challenging situation. Each of us on the FoB Squad are charged with the responsibility of creating a dish that either asks serious questions or enchants us with enlightening answers. Or both. And maybe, in the wash-up, we create a dish that becomes a permanent or enduring feature of future FoB feasts.

My thought was to come up with something on the heavier side of light, but charming and sweet. Something that would adequately signpost the path to a truly sumptuous feast.

Here’s what I put together…

I felt I could meet that brief with pork loin, maple syrup, butter, brown sugar, patience, impetuousness and of course, blind ambition and a touch of crazy.  I could not have been happier with the result. The result being…

… The Bearded Canadian’s Pork Loin Cinnamon Scroll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I went ahead and thought to myself:

• I love maple syrup
• Everybody that likes pork, loves pork loin
• I do enjoy some cinnamon, especially on a donut or wait… a scroll!
• Butter is great [Ed. Check out some truly dizzying and perhaps unhinged YouTube clips of Michelin star magnet Marco Pierre White, espousing an enduring love for butter].
• Brown sugar? Well…

So, those are the basic ingredients. Play with them. Use patience – a very hard-to-come-by ingredient – because you don’t want to incinerate the sauce, you want to warm it, heat it gently and coax out the flavours and consistency to form that glaze.

Finally, be bold with your application of cinnamon and of course the maple. Use salt to balance out the sweetness.

Okay, go ahead and create something uniquely you that pays homage to me (stole that line from Train during one of his ego moments) [Ed. Which is more often than you’d thing] [Train: Agreed!]

And as always… Feast on!

The evolution of the enhanced FoB entrée continues

By The Burger Baron

The more things change, the more things stay the same, as the saying goes. These days, people love change but certainly in the world of food and more particularly BBQ, a lot of people love what they like and always will. Doesn’t mean we can’t experiment, adapt and evolve certain traditional and much-loved ideas into awesome new dishes.

Enter the Smashburger Tacos. The nexus of two established favourites.

When two favs become one!

As the Burger Baron, I’ve toiled for years to understand and refine Burger Science and at times I’ve been told (by Train) that some of my opinions have been presented as if they were laws as opposed to thoughts. So be it! Burgers make up at least two delicious pillars of not only the food matrix but also that of society (Ed. You’re doing it again!). Not to make too fine a point (Ed. Better). 

Tacos are a worthy inhabitant of the Mount Rushmore of Food Truck classics and so I’ve delved deeply into their origins, mining for tips on authenticity, method and optimising flavours. Both culinary phenoms are close to my heart, so combining the two is a labour of love. Best as I can tell, you can break the instructions into 5 easy-to-digest tips.

5 easy-to-digest tips for smashing the taco paradigm: a how-to guide

Okay, knowing simplicity is key, let’s not mince words, brevity is best so here we go:

1. use fatty beef mince as you would a normal smashburger
2. rather than seasoning with salt alone, spice it up with some Mexican seasoning
3. forget using a square of baking proof paper between the mince and your smasher when you smash, throw the tortilla straight onto the meat and smash away!
4. once the meat patty is dark brown/nicely caramelised:
5. once cooled a bit, pull it back open and apply your favourite toppings, such as coriander, sour cream, pickled red onion (or even just pickles if you aren’t ready to go the full-Mexican experience).

These are great. I love them and so do most people I know, and as we often say here at Feast on Beasts… Feast on!

Try this – Duck breast, the steak you have when you’re [Ed. That’s enough]

By The Bearded Canadian

Recently, I’ve been wading out into the back waters of the feasting kingdom and my back catalogue of sports movies, to expand my culinary repertoire, and (re-)stumbled upon the mighty duck!

Though it is quite popular, at least in in French or Chinese cuisine, it’s not a dish often served when you gather together with your mates for some barbeque – but perhaps it should be! You see, in a world where so many things taste like chicken… duck breast surprisingly tastes like steak (It’s even red like steak too)!

With that in mind, here are some simple tips to cook up the breast portion of the echo-less beast [Ed. might have to google that one]: 

*PREP IT LIKE A STEAK*

You can go as fancy as you want with duck breast, but it actually shines wonderfully with just salt, pepper and garlic powder! [Ed. Didn’t you recently adorn one of your offerings with a juniper berry sauce? Hmmmm?!] Just like a steak, remove as much moisture as you can from the meat, and hit it liberally with that SPG. Be sure to score the skin and to get all the flavour in there! 

COOK IT LIKE A STEAK… Sort of! 

With steak you want a ripping hot bbq to sear in the juices right away, but because of the high fat content in the skin, duck breast is best cooked starting with a cold bbq and then turning the heat up once the fat has rendered. However, just like steak you can eat duck breast medium rare!  Again, score the skin to help render the fat, and place it on a cold hot plate, turn the gas to low and let the fat render out for 10-15 mins. Don’t rush this part, you want the fat rendered and the skin nice and crispy!

So, walk away, grab a drink, tend to those ribeyes [Ed. Train enters the chat]… Once the skin is rendered transfer it to your grill and cook skin side up till your desired temp.

Med. Rare 54degrees C. Medium 60degrees C. Well Done… ? You know better than that. 

REST IT LIKE A STEAK

Again, just like a steak, the meat needs to rest for at least 10 mins. You’ve come this far and you don’t want to lose all that flavour and juice! I wouldn’t cover it up though as you want to keep the skin crisp! Finally, slice it up, serve and have fun watching your guests try to figure out what part of the cow they are currently enjoying! 

As always, “try this” and …Feast on! 

By House of Goff 

Last week, the good lady wife informed me that she was craving a hearty steak for dinner, so I dutifully journeyed by car to the local supermarket (that normally maintains a balance of quality and value) to see what sort of bargain I could scrounge up. 

Imagine my abject horror upon sighting a tray of thick-cut RUMP steak for $26.99/kg!!! [Ed. This is your first written warning for overuse of exclamation marks… but sheesh, that’s getting up there] It was only a few years ago that I could find whole rumps for $12-16/kg, knowing where to look, but it seems those days are sadly, behind us. Thankfully, I managed to find a tray of lovely looking thick porterhouse steaks on the shelf below for $20.99/kg, a price I could stomach. I'm sure there's many Feasters out there who have also felt the pinch of rising beef prices. 

As a lover of beef myself, it's something that's weighed heavily on my mind of late. After my rump steak price shock, I wandered through the aisles, contemplating a future that - for the sake of fiscal responsibility - might include a noticeable decrease in steak consumption. 

However, as I passed through the Mexican section I was struck by a moment of inspiration. No, it wasn't a new hot sauce coming into stock [Ed. We may need an intervention, your hot sauce addiction is real, man!]. It was a memory of something I had cooked in recent months, and the ingredients with which I could attempt a fresh take on an old favourite. 

Steak. Tacos. 

Hear me out. What is a person to do when they regularly crave the taste and texture of delicious steak, but don't want to break the bank? 

a) Add more vegetables to their plate 
b) Eat a piece of fruit 
c) Salad? 
d) Steak tacos 

If done properly, steak tacos allow the flavour and the texture of the meat to shine through, along with a variety of flavours including salsa and cream to make for a party in your mouth, while stretching your protein dollar further. 

Allow me to introduce you to one of my now favourite go-to beef cuts - the skirt steak. It is traditionally the most popular cut of choice for steak tacos and Chinese stir fry, but, in my experience, it needs to be handled with some care for best results. 

After my beefy epiphany (ebeephany?) [Ed. That is QUITE enough of that – second written warning], I rushed for a can of chipotle chillies in adobo sauce and a can of tomatillos (the little green and slightly sour cousin of the tomato) and hurried back to the meat section. I also managed to find a delightful looking 1kg, vac-sealed bag of skirt steak for $19.99/kg - now we're talking! 

Here’s what’s up, what’s next and what’s delicioso! 

Now to walk you through my process for preparing steak tacos and two different versions of a salsa; one when you're seeking good value, the other for when you're looking to impress a group with some flavours they may be yet to encounter.

Core Ingredients: 

½ to 1kg of Skirt Steak 

Tacos (I prefer soft so as not to mask the texture of the steak) 

1 Medium Brown Onion 

Sour Cream 

Cheese (Grated fresh) 

Coriander (unless it tastes like soap to you) 

Oil/Salt/Pepper/Vinegar 

Salsa Verde (Value): 

2 Green Capsicum 

Handful of Jalapenos (to suit heat level, pickled jalapenos work here too) 

1 Tsp Ground Cumin 

Smoky Tomatillo Salsa (Bougie): 

1 Can of Chipotle Chiles in Adobo 

1 Can of Tomatillos (6 or so fresh ones are better but good luck finding any) 

Garlic 

1A) Salsa Verde Option 

• So to start off, if you're trying the salsa verde, crank your oven to 220°C and line a tray with baking paper. 
• Then just throw your capsicum and jalapenos in there with a drizzle of oil until soft and slightly blackened. 
• Remove and place in a covered bowl to steam for 10-15 minutes. This will allow you to peel the skins off easily (if you're using chopped pickled jalapenos, don't bother for those). 
• When that's done, add your roasted goodies to a food processor with a quarter of your brown onion, a quarter cup (125mL) of water, 1 Tsp of ground cumin, a splash of vinegar (unless you used pickled jalapenos), a small handful of coriander and a generous pinch of salt or two (adjust to taste). If you prefer a lighter, thinner consistency, just add more water. 
• Transfer to a bowl and set aside. 

1B) Smoky Tomatillo Salsa Option 

• Grill your tomatillos in a pan on medium-high with a splash of oil until soft, about 10 minutes 
• Put aside to cool. 
• Add a tsp or two of diced fresh garlic (or a bit more if from a jar) to a food processor, along with 3 chipotle chillies from your can, your cooked tomatillos and a generous pinch of salt 
• Pulse until pureed. You might also like to add 1 Tbsp or so of brown sugar to taste if you'd like to balance the sourness. 
• Transfer to a bowl and set aside.

2) Skirt Steak 

Prep: 

• I find skirt tends to have a lot of silver skin membrane on one or both sides and some hard fat chunks, so I spend five or more minutes removing all that and getting it nice and clean. 
• Give it light oiling and a generous seasoning of salt and pepper. 
• Meanwhile, get a pan or BBQ ripping hot with some oil. 
• If you opted for the "Bougie" salsa, blend up your remaining chiles and adobo sauce in a food processor, and give your steaks a generous brushing over with the resulting paste. 
• Fight back the steak-snob in you that fears pasting brown sauce on a steak will make it taste like a sweet BBQ sauce [Ed. You can almost hear Train grinding his teeth!]. The chipotles will add richness and smokiness that actually complements and enhances the umami flavour of the steak, rather than masking it. [Ed. (giggling) Oh, Train, this is glorious!] 

Cook: 

Now, I might get in trouble for this, as the politically correct answer for how one likes their steak done is generally medium-rare... BUT, I suspect because of the thicker-than-average muscle fibres found in skirt, it tends to turn out more tender if you get it more to the medium end of the medium-rare spectrum. [Ed… sorry Train] 

Rest: 

Allow your steak to rest for at least 5 minutes. 

Slicing: 

Now, this part is particularly crucial for skirt steak. I find when most people go to slice a steak (and you imagine a long rectangle), they simply slice across the shortest direction. If you were to do that with skirt however, you will generally be slicing parallel to the muscle fibres, creating an extremely chewy experience. Because it seems silly and difficult to cut slices down the full, long length of the steak, I tend to split it into thirds or halves first, then identify which direction the muscle fibres are running and slice across/perpendicular to that direction. This means the steak should separate and fall apart in your mouth, rather than your teeth having to break down every muscle fibre. 

Serving: 

Give your sliced steaks a nice salting before serving. 

3) The Rest 

Dice and grill your onion with some oil and a pinch of salt until caramelised and grate your cheese. 

Now, I'm not going to tell you what you can and can't put on a taco, but personally, I find it best to opt out of lettuce and tomato on a steak taco. I would rather preserve the taste and texture of the steak, rather than obfuscate and drown it out with a variety of crunchy, watery ingredients. However, this still leaves room for our salsa and coriander, not to mention our delicious, soft and fat-filled ingredients such as sour cream, grated cheese and even avocado if you like. 

If I could impart one favourite tip of mine in closing, it would be to opt out of microwaving your soft taco wraps. Instead, slap them down, one at a time, straight onto your gas burner or BBQ grill, for 5-10 seconds a side. This will cut back on some of the doughy mouth-feel and enhance the flavour and texture slightly. 

I hope you enjoy this as much as me, and that it helps you find ways of stretching your budget to include some of your favourite protein, perhaps in a fresh and interesting way… Feast on!

Here’s what to look out for 

By Johnno 

Okay, let’s get one thing straight. A good steak from an excellent butcher is always going to be better than a good steak from a supermarket. It’s just the way it is. Good butchers hold themselves to a certain standard because their produce is their reputation, their livelihood and their passion. Whereas supermarkets are typically stocking produce on the basis of mass appeal or popular niche markets (and if you need to know more about that you should probably ask Train). 

The other thing to understand is that the premium quality you might experience at an excellent butcher will come at a… premium. This means that to the average shopper, waygu ribeyes will not be a nightly occurrence. As premium steaks (think tomahawks, ribeyes, scotch fillet and tenderloins) power past the $50/kg at your more fancied butchers, people are turning to the supermarket fridges for their everyday or every other day steaks for $20+ less/kg – fair enough (but don’t forget to treat yourself from time to time too). 

The question is, do you then need to abandon all hope of enjoying a beautiful steak until the finance clears? No. Not at all! 

Next time you’re at the supermarket, just keep these tips in your head and you won’t be sorry.

Fats vs fiction 

It’s true that solid masses of crayon-hard fat encircling a smallish steak can be… unappetising, but that doesn’t mean you should be looking for the leanest cuts. You’ve heard of marbling and you understand that this interstitial fat contributes heavily to flavour. Well take a moment or two to find a packet of steaks that features this magical network of awesome flavour running through it like a roadmap. They are out there (or in there) and your patience will be rewarded. Sure, the fridge doors might fog up a little, but you need to plate great steak… and that matters - a lot!

Colour counts, but not as much as you think 

For years we’ve been taught that red meat should be red – bright red. That’s why rumours swirled (and in some cases, rumours proved to be true) that some steaks, mince and roasts were deliberately touched up with a bit of colour to make them look more visually appealing. Appalling but there you go. But since the advent of vacuum-sealed packs or “vac-pack”) products, things have changed. Obviously with the lack of oxygen within the vac-sealed packaging, the meat will darken significantly and when you break the seal, after a few moments, the colour will return as the meat “blooms”. 

Okay, so we don’t need to worry to much about the colour then? Yes and no. Imagine if you saw a very appetising rosy-red steak in a vac-pack. This is by no means a deal-breaker but it does warrant a pause. And if you don’t like hanging around at supermarkets for ages, maybe that pause for thought becomes a deal-breaker, who knows? Common sense and awareness is key. Always ask yourself – why is that like that? Also, you can always ask friendly staff – see what they have to say. 

Final note on colour. Of course, if the meat is green or has white specks on it, keep looking. Remember, steaks and the like are meant for your tastebuds and tummy, so don’t ignore your gut if you feel something’s not quite right. If in doubt, keep looking.

Treat your steak with care and consistency 

So the steak you’ve selected from the fridge at your local supermarket wasn’t hand-selected and lovingly presented by your quality-obsessed butcher (Shout out to Fussy Meats and Torre & Mordini Gourmet Meats). Does that mean that you should resign yourself to a less-than-satisfactory eating experience. Of course not.Use similar techniques and seasoning you normally lavish on your celebratory scotch fillet, on your “super steak” and, if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll still enjoy a very pleasing result. 

Alright, keep your eyes peeled and… Feast on!

Creating steak magic with mayonnaise  - don't judge... yet! 

By The Bearded Canadian 

If you’re in a bind as to how to bring your steaks alive without resorting to adding sauce, I want to share my latest discovery with you right now. 

By the way, there’s nothing wrong with creating beautiful aromatic sauces to complement your meaty main, in fact, I believe that that is a wonderful skill, I’m now convinced Train has yet to master [Ed. And it’s on!... Yes!!!]. While reliance on the simple wonders of salt, pepper and oil and perhaps some garlic are deservedly praised, the act of maintaining a culinary curiosity is just as valuable. Also, please keep in mind that “resorting” is the key word. What I don’t want for you is to cook a piece of steak, taste it and realise that it’s bland and disappointing. That’s when you find yourself resorting to sauce. And as Train often says, “if you find yourself on the verge of despair and topping a tired steak with tomato sauce, maybe just flush it down the S-bend and retain at least a pinch of dignity.” Harsh but perhaps fair. [Ed. An olive branch?] 

Okay, back to my discovery. Train quite rightly hammers home the fact that when it comes to grilling steaks, salt, pepper and oil are mandatory, but why does he stop there? [Ed. Soooo, no olive branch?]. One of the reasons for applying olive oil is to help bind the salt and pepper to your gorgeous steak. But surely, we can think of and add other ways. I know our good friends at Cheat Meats will often apply a coating of mustard to help bind a rub to their steak dishes and that’s one of the factors that got me thinking. And if you like steak and eggs… 

Logic is a weird thing, isn’t it? If you follow the logic behind certain flavour combinations you’ll chance upon a whole lot of interesting ideas just waiting to be plated up. Take for instance that breakfast (or lunch) staple of champions, steak and eggs. What a combo. Steak and oil, salt and pepper, mustard and steak – they’re all great combos that work beautifully together. 

So speaking of combinations, here’s one that I trialled to take the place of the olive oil combination to bind the SPG: 

Egg yolk, salt, pepper and dry mustard, a touch of brown sugar, lemon juice and vinegar and yes, Train, olive oil – 100% extra virgin olive oil. And yes, those ingredients will indeed make a very nice mayo. But take a look at the images I’ve put together to see, as I did, the difference that the made-from-scratch mayo makes. 

SPG olive oil bindSPG Mayo bind SPG, coffee rub, mayo bind. And yes, I ate them all and they were delicious all in their own way. Hey Train, variety is he spice of life [Ed: and it’s on again!]. Try it for yourself and… Feast on!

Johnno speaks, we listen... because it's brisket and it's Johnno 

With Johnno 

Plating a brisket that gets the oohs and aaahs, the admiration and glowing adoration that warms the heart etc is great for the ego, but the big reward is knowing yourself, that you are delighted with what you’ve achieved. The hours have not been wasted, the concentration has been rewarded, all is well with the world. While each brisket holds within it, its own secrets, there are some things that we should all know about and I’d like to share what I have found to be… VITAL! 

Okay, put simply, there are 5 things you need to remember to keep your brisket journey on the straight and narrow. 

1. Preparation is key! Make sure you have everything you need before you start so that during the cook you’re not ducking out to get supplies, like rubs which is a momentum/enthusiasm killer. I’ve been there and it messes with your head. Here are some related dot points to remember. 

a)   You’ll always use rub so make double, it’s not expensive, so you may as well. 

b)   You can never have enough fuel, so ensure you’ve got enough wood/pellets/charcoal 

c)   Stock up on gloves: running out could mean a quick trip to… hospital with burns – you don’t want that. 

d)   Avoid the dreaded battery crisis when your temp probe runs out of power…. OH COME ON! Solution: have spare batteries on hand.

Then, run your prestart checks and have everything sorted well before the cook - even a week in advance (Yes, a week! When it comes to brisket things get serious). 

2. Preparation part 2, the must-see sequel. Take your brisket out of the fridge at least 8 hours before (applicable for briskets between 7-11 kg) and take it out of the package at T-1 hour. Doing this will allow your brisket to come to ambient room temperature. This achieves a couple of things, it: 

a)   allows time for the brisket to go from say around 4 degrees (from your fridge) to room temp - that’s a lot of cook time you’ve just reduced and wood-pellets-charcoal you’ve saved. 

b)   helps to avoid overcooking the outside as you strive for the target internal temperature – by the way, you can use the same guidelines that apply to both steaks and roasts. 

3. The pit: Set your pit up with a nice steady temperature, if possible, out of the elements (rain has spoiled my cooks more than once). Get to know your pit as they all are different in their own ways. Here’s a quick checklist to ensure readiness: 

a)   clean the grates 

b)   remove the ash and grease from the baffle plates, deflector plates and or buckets. You don’t need to be servicing your pit during a cook 

c)   keep your wood/pellets/charcoal close when your pit temperature is dropping - you don’t want to be running around in a panic looking for your pit fuel. 

4.  The cook - Why is it difficult to hold steady temp? This is a question that’s plagued me for years. If you’re finding this difficult most likely “it’s not you (I say most likely) it’s the pit.” With a good pit you should be able to set the vents, monitor your temp, add some fuel when the temperature starts to drop, shut doors/close lid and get back to the temp you were at prior to adding more fuel if you’re using an offset. Remember white/dirty smoke must be avoided - this is another section I will cover in a future article [Ed. Presumptuous – I like the confidence]. 

a)   Think about flipping and turning the brisket during the cook and remember, most pits will produce more heat closer to the heat source… [Ed. WHAT?]  I know shocking! Flipping and turning your brisket will even out the amount of doneness of your brisket. 

b)   Use a good temperature probe!! For me, and this is just my personal preference, the MEATER probe is my go-to but I’ll cover that in another article also [Ed. Poking the bear…]. 

c)   If you find your brisket is looking dry, well guess what it is (gasp!) – time to act! Also, if you’re in the midst of the dreaded stall, you can help both these scenarios by basting the brisket in fat - butter or rendered fat trimmings will do wonders to combat these issues. 

5. The rest / resting the brisket: The rest is not history; you need to stay with me for a bit longer because it is just as important as the cook. There are a few more steps to take to make sure your brisket yields the best results. A nicely marbled brisket will need no extra help but if you find you are cooking with something a bit leaner: 

a)   open your wrap and add some fat, be it butter or rendered brisket fat trimming (perfect) to the wrap before you rest 

b)   allow the brisket to cool because if you carve/slice the brisket while it’s too hot, tragically, all your hard work will be undone, all those hours of toil wasted and your pride (probably) in tatters for the sake of just a few minutes. But let’s not keep you guessing. Here are some warning signs that your brisket is too hot to carve: 

          i. Steam! If there’s excessive steam, it’s too hot 
          ii. Ouch! If it’s too hot to hold while carving it’s too hot 
          iii. if you find it oxidises after carving, it’s too hot. You’ll notice oxidation when a freshly cut, nicely presented slice starts to turn dull and grey – that’s not very visually appealing to you or your guests. 

Remember practice, practice, practice!! 

Final thoughts in really short sentences. Take your time. Let the meat do its thing. Don’t panic. Enjoy the experience and take note of what’s going on. 

Pro tip: Ignore the family and friends when they ask “when will it be ready?” and if you find yourself no longer able to continue for whatever reason, put the brisket in your oven at around 100c and continue the next day.So, go ahead, reread this piece, keep it close and ready yourself for the next triumphant brisket parade. Motivational tip when things get difficult:  Visualise the wows and gasps as you slice and present pure, pristine, awe-inspiring brisket to your audience and…. FEAST ON!

One Canadian’s take on that critical first dish of the feast 

By The Bearded Canadian 

The big night is approaching. You’ve got the ribeyes, drinks and music all sorted, you checked (and double-checked) that the gas bottle is full(ish), and against all odds you managed to turn the outdoor patio into a half decent feasting forum. But as you think through what the night’s menu will look like, you still feel like it’s lacking a little ‘je ne sais quoi’ – that little something extra that will elevate your humble soiree from just another night around the barbie to, ‘now THIS is a BBQ feast!’ But what to do? 

The answer? An eye-catching, mouth-watering entrée. 

This will set the tone for the rest of your night. Now if you’re hoping your feast is going to go the distance (and live long in the memory of your guests), you’re going to have to land some shots early in the fight (Ed. wait are we still talking entrées or have we moved onto MMA?). The ribeye may be the knockout blow, but the entrée gets them to drop their guard, setting you up for the win – a quick combo that makes a statement and reminds your guests why they are there. [Ed. Wow, MMA, boxing, feasts, knockouts, it’s all here]. 

So, 3 things to consider when considering a memorable entrée 

1. Size and portion 

Like I said, an entrée should be quick. As in quickly and easily eaten. Think small, bite-sized and preferably mess-free. People are arriving, catching up with each other, so, initial gasps of awe and wonder notwithstanding, the entrée should add to the conversations, not disrupt them.

2. Impact 

The entrée should be eye-catching. People eat with their eyes so get some colour on the plate. If you offer chicken wings, consider garnishing with thinly-sliced green onion or red chilies. They not only add flavour, but they attract the eye which creates excitement and anticipation. At this point, feasters are experiencing relish, awe, joy, and they haven’t even started eating!

3. Flavour 

There’s no denying that flavour is the most important part of the dish but in the case of entrées you want to focus on flavours that whet the appetite not quench it. Remember the party is just getting started and that ribeye is still coming! If the main course is going to be salty and savoury, balance it out with something more aromatic (like the Bearded Canadian Vietnamese Prawns) or sweet and spicy (like House of Goff’s Korean style wings)? Not only will this bring a smile to your fellow feasters, but it will also set them on a flavoursome feasting sojourn deep into the night.

I guess the big tip out of all this is to appreciate that the entrée is the all-important opening or support act to the main event and it deserves and requires its moment in the spotlight if its going to be a feast to remember. [Ed. Really thought you going to go with the whole undercard thing.] 

Hey, if you have a favourite feast opener, hit us up on our socials or email us at feaston@feastonbeasts.com 

By Train 

“Don’t screw it up!” 

That’s the phrase a lot of you might have echoing through your brain as you unwrap a richly marbled, plump, 2-inch-thick ribeye that cost anywhere between $45-65/kg. Chances are you bought two or maybe even three of them which means you’re obviously cooking for an audience. And let’s face it, because we’re all friends here, in a group of say 5 guests, one of them will find it funny if you do overcook or undercook or in some other way mistreat your sizable investment in a sizable feast. 

“DON’T screw it up!!” Yup, it gets louder. 

But let me help you quiet that unhelpful negative self-talk [Ed. Amateur psychology as well, Train? Impressive.”] Here’s what you need: 

• A formula 
• A rule 
• 5 steps to remember 
• 3 ways to have fun with it. 

Full disclosure, I’m a purist of sorts and I don’t like using temperature probes. I generally just… use the force. (Ed. Okay, Luke…) The problem is that relying solely on gut feel does mean that you need to corral every ounce of concentration you have and keep it laser focused on the grill the whole time. This is great if you’re all by yourself and you know you won’t be distracted by the need for a drink, the toilet, your phone, blinking etc. That pretty much rules out being sociable or having a good time when people come over. These 10 tips based around my 50-40 rule will help you out. 1. Room temperature ribeye is the best ribeye. As per previous guides, do not take your ribeye from the fridge and put it on the grill unless you enjoy humiliation, scorn, waste and derision. Instead, leave it out to arrive at room temperature in its own sweet time. We love a 1-1.3kg ribeye from our friends at Torre & Mordini Gourmet Meats and have found that it can take a good hour or more to get to where we want it to go temp-wise. 

2. Moisture is still your enemy, and it always will be. It’s a huge steak so you’ll need two or three squares of absorbent paper towel to pat it down and make your steak presentable. 

3. Get your guests involved. Properly seasoning say 3 of these monsters is a big job, particularly if you’re using standard salt and pepper grinders. By the way, there are few better forearm exercises than grinding enough salt and pepper to cover these delicious portions. If you don’t want forearms like ham hocks, simply pour salt into a bowl, pepper into another bowl and sprinkle liberally. LIBERALLY! Remember, a lot of this (up to 30%) is just going to disappear. 

4. Olive oil. The debate still rages on within the FoB ranks as to whether the oil comes before or after the seasoning. I say after, some of the guys say before… try it both ways. But make sure you use it. Okay so some will say, hey, what about mustard, what about coffee rubs etc. That is strictly to taste. Personally, I do ease up on the S&P if I know I’m going to use a coffee rub but, I shy away from mustard etc if I’m familiar with the cut and trust my butcher – I want to taste the richness of the meat, glory in the abundance of marbling and generally celebrate a cut unsullied by additional flavours. If I’m not sure about the cut or I’m feasting away from FoB central, anything goes in the name of experimentation – obviously drawing the line at salad… obviously. 

5. The 50-40 rule. Again, you want to be social, enjoy yourself, while also making this whole adventure seem effortless. That means you’ll need breaks in the play, hydration and banter. Well, here’s your chance. Just before you pat down your three, four, five or more ribeyes, preheat your kitchen oven to 50 ˚C (or thereabouts) - fan-forced. When the time is right, you’re going to arrange all these stunning monuments to bovine goodness on the middle tray and leave them there for no less than 40 minutes. But we also found that this rule works at 40 ˚C for 50 minutes or 60 ˚ for 30 minutes. The mathematicians among us have already cottoned-on to the fact that they all add up to 90. 6. Take a break, laugh, shoot some hoops, shoot some pool, shoot the breeze, it’s all good! Eat some of those entrees, forget about the ribeyes and enjoy yourself. You just spent a lot of money on premium steaks, relax and enjoy yourself. But stick to the formula. 

7. PANIC! No, not really. Calmly remove these huge hunks of deliciousness from the oven and display them to a stunned crowd of guests. Brilliant! The waiting hotplate next to the grill should be white hot (figurately speaking) and the sizzle when you lay your steak upon it should rival the sound and temperature of jet afterburners. Glorious! Sear each side for 30-60 seconds but treat the fatty side to a generous 90. 8. Timing is everything and depending on your preferred level of “doneness”, grill each side for between a minute and two minutes. Remember the tip from the porterhouse cheat sheet in the last issue? After the turn, slide the steak down to the cooler part of your grill. 9. R ‘n’ R. Rest and rumination. Leave your herd of steaks to rest on the board under an untucked aluminium foil canopy for an agonising 7 minutes. By the way, you won’t last that long – no one can. 

10. Adoration time. Remove said canopy with your own trademark flourish, present, slice and fall back into your chair, pretending to be spent. You are a champion, your place in steak lore is now secure and it remains only for you to… Feast on! 

I feel like you know this already but just for easy reference, here are the internal temp. guides for you once again. 

Rare = 48˚- 50˚  Medium Rare = 52 ˚- 54 ˚   Medium = 58 ˚- 60 ˚ 

Chars!

By The Bearded Canadian 

Okay, why are we here? Answer: to have a whale of time creating beautiful, succulent meat dishes that will eventually pass into legend. One of the important steps towards creating said legendary dish is of course, seasoning your chosen protein. But there is seasoning and then… there is seasoning. I hope you’ll come to recognise mine as the latter. 

And the reason I create and experiment with spices is that making your own spice allows for better control of taste, texture and quality, not to mention saving you some serious dosh!  [Ed. The bearded one is really embracing Australian vernacular and we love it!] 

So without further ado, here’s my take on the classic Montreal Steak Spice – here’s what you’ll need: 

• 4 Tbs mixed whole peppers  
• 4 Tbs Coriander seeds 
• 2 Tbs Whole All Spice 
• 4 Tbs Dill seed 
• 2 Tbs Granulated Garlic 
• 2 Tbs Mustard Seed 
• 4 Tsp Sweet Paprika 
• ½ tsp Korean chili 
• ½ tsp red chili flakes 
• 1 tsp Aleppo Chili flakes 
• 3 Tbs kosher salt 

Now one of the best things about rubs is that you can change them up. It's entirely up to your tastes, add more or less salt, up the heat with different types of chilli or even consider adding some rosemary for even more depth of flavour. It’s up to you. 

Pro Tip: toast the whole seeds by placing them on a dry pan at medium low heat. (No need for oil). When they start smelling fragrant remove from the pan (don’t leave them on for longer than 5 mins) let cool, then grind them to your desired coarseness. In my humble (Ed. Funny, I like it) opinion, toasting spices give an entirely different and more sophisticated flavour profile. 

I've added this spice mix to a cheap and cheerful scotch fillet to boost the flavour! Don't be afraid to apply generous amounts of rub to give thicker cuts like this. Remember to coat all sides and pat down for best results. 

N.B. Spices start losing their flavour as soon as they are ground but by grinding your own whole spice and keeping them in an airtight jar you will keep them fresh for weeks. You can opt out on grinding your own, but why would you? Just takes a few pulses on a blender or spice grinder or… get those forearms a workout with the ol’ pestle and mortar. Come now. You can do it… it’ll help you grow a mighty beard.

Huzzah! Enjoy, and let me know how you go at feaston@feastonbeasts.com

Wow!!

6 tips to tip the scales of good taste in your favour during Christmas 

with The Bearded Canadian 

“I simply love taking seemingly mundane or run-of the-mill, ‘safe’ dishes, like a leg of ham and creating something memorable that might, one day, make it into the Festive Meats Hall of Fame – a man can dream. So here are some pointers that hopefully, you’ll be able to remember today, tomorrow and for many festive seasons to come.” The Bearded Canadian, magnanimously sharing his thoughts, hopes and aspirations for porcine yuletide meat dishes. 

(Ed: Warning, The Bearded One had Train, translate his words and thoughts into words and pictures… and even more words so... hang in there.) 

1. Aluminium foil is your friend, respect it, keep it near and cover a roasting pan in it for easy clean up. 

2. And like all friends, aluminium foil will stick by you, even during tip number two. Cover your ham with foil with a cup of water (to keep your ham moist) in the bottom of the oven for 30minutes at 160˚C. 

3. Fat is also your friend (go figure) but skin is your enemy so, get rid of the ham skin (Ed. Sounds weird, just sayin’.) but keep the fat! 

4. Score the fat and salt it lightly with your choice of flaky salt – just the fat mind you. And no, it won’t make it too salty. 

5. Time to get your glaze on. Mix and match sugar types – it fun and delicious. I favour a brown sugar, maple syrup and cherry juice combination. Crank the heat up to 200˚ C. Uncover ham and glaze every 15 minutes for a final 45 minutes. 

6. Stare steadily into the eyes of your relative most prone to ladling out criticism and as you place the platter of hammy goodness in the middle of the table, stage-whisper, “Voila!” 

...Another triumph! 

If you try this and love it, please let us all know. If you have questions, fire at will, feaston@feastonbeasts.com is where to send your thoughts and yes, we will reply.

The art of producing mouth-watering steaks… every time. 

by Train 

Ready? 

1. Room temperature – let the steak arrive at room temp. naturally. DO NOT even glance at the microwave! 

2. Pat your steak with paper towel. Moisture is your enemy! 

3. Season your steak – we beg of you. GENEROUSLY, coat in olive oil and gently “pat” and cover with salt and pepper (perhaps even a touch of fresh ground garlic… perhaps). 

4. Sear your steaks on each side on a hotplate heated to approx. temp of the sun. Count to 7 on each side but count to 31 on the fat cap. 

5. Lay freshly-seared steak on the hottest part of your grill for 1 minute. Rotate 90 degrees anti-clockwise and grill for another minute. 

6. Turn your steak over and grill for another minute. Rotate and grill for 30 seconds. Slide the steak towards the cooler part of your grill for the final 30 seconds. 

7. Rest the steak under an untucked canopy of aluminium foil for 5 minutes 

8. Remove canopy with a flourish and look on in wonder as your perfect steak is revealed to an adoring audience. 

9. Slice your beautiful creation. Perfection! Yes, it’s real and you did it. 

10. Don your feasting shirt and… FEAST ON! 

Internal temp. guide for great steaks your way: 

Rare = 48˚- 50˚  Medium Rare = 52 ˚- 54 ˚   Medium = 58 ˚- 60 ˚ 

www.feastonbeasts.com e: feaston@feastonbeasts.com 

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