By House of Goff 

Last week, the good lady wife informed me that she was craving a hearty steak for dinner, so I dutifully journeyed by car to the local supermarket (that normally maintains a balance of quality and value) to see what sort of bargain I could scrounge up. 

Imagine my abject horror upon sighting a tray of thick-cut RUMP steak for $26.99/kg!!! [Ed. This is your first written warning for overuse of exclamation marks… but sheesh, that’s getting up there] It was only a few years ago that I could find whole rumps for $12-16/kg, knowing where to look, but it seems those days are sadly, behind us. Thankfully, I managed to find a tray of lovely looking thick porterhouse steaks on the shelf below for $20.99/kg, a price I could stomach. I'm sure there's many Feasters out there who have also felt the pinch of rising beef prices. 

As a lover of beef myself, it's something that's weighed heavily on my mind of late. After my rump steak price shock, I wandered through the aisles, contemplating a future that - for the sake of fiscal responsibility - might include a noticeable decrease in steak consumption. 

However, as I passed through the Mexican section I was struck by a moment of inspiration. No, it wasn't a new hot sauce coming into stock [Ed. We may need an intervention, your hot sauce addiction is real, man!]. It was a memory of something I had cooked in recent months, and the ingredients with which I could attempt a fresh take on an old favourite. 

Steak. Tacos. 

Hear me out. What is a person to do when they regularly crave the taste and texture of delicious steak, but don't want to break the bank? 

a) Add more vegetables to their plate 
b) Eat a piece of fruit 
c) Salad? 
d) Steak tacos 

If done properly, steak tacos allow the flavour and the texture of the meat to shine through, along with a variety of flavours including salsa and cream to make for a party in your mouth, while stretching your protein dollar further. 

Allow me to introduce you to one of my now favourite go-to beef cuts - the skirt steak. It is traditionally the most popular cut of choice for steak tacos and Chinese stir fry, but, in my experience, it needs to be handled with some care for best results. 

After my beefy epiphany (ebeephany?) [Ed. That is QUITE enough of that – second written warning], I rushed for a can of chipotle chillies in adobo sauce and a can of tomatillos (the little green and slightly sour cousin of the tomato) and hurried back to the meat section. I also managed to find a delightful looking 1kg, vac-sealed bag of skirt steak for $19.99/kg - now we're talking! 

Here’s what’s up, what’s next and what’s delicioso! 

Now to walk you through my process for preparing steak tacos and two different versions of a salsa; one when you're seeking good value, the other for when you're looking to impress a group with some flavours they may be yet to encounter.

Core Ingredients: 

½ to 1kg of Skirt Steak 

Tacos (I prefer soft so as not to mask the texture of the steak) 

1 Medium Brown Onion 

Sour Cream 

Cheese (Grated fresh) 

Coriander (unless it tastes like soap to you) 

Oil/Salt/Pepper/Vinegar 

Salsa Verde (Value): 

2 Green Capsicum 

Handful of Jalapenos (to suit heat level, pickled jalapenos work here too) 

1 Tsp Ground Cumin 

Smoky Tomatillo Salsa (Bougie): 

1 Can of Chipotle Chiles in Adobo 

1 Can of Tomatillos (6 or so fresh ones are better but good luck finding any) 

Garlic 

1A) Salsa Verde Option 

• So to start off, if you're trying the salsa verde, crank your oven to 220°C and line a tray with baking paper. 
• Then just throw your capsicum and jalapenos in there with a drizzle of oil until soft and slightly blackened. 
• Remove and place in a covered bowl to steam for 10-15 minutes. This will allow you to peel the skins off easily (if you're using chopped pickled jalapenos, don't bother for those). 
• When that's done, add your roasted goodies to a food processor with a quarter of your brown onion, a quarter cup (125mL) of water, 1 Tsp of ground cumin, a splash of vinegar (unless you used pickled jalapenos), a small handful of coriander and a generous pinch of salt or two (adjust to taste). If you prefer a lighter, thinner consistency, just add more water. 
• Transfer to a bowl and set aside. 

1B) Smoky Tomatillo Salsa Option 

• Grill your tomatillos in a pan on medium-high with a splash of oil until soft, about 10 minutes 
• Put aside to cool. 
• Add a tsp or two of diced fresh garlic (or a bit more if from a jar) to a food processor, along with 3 chipotle chillies from your can, your cooked tomatillos and a generous pinch of salt 
• Pulse until pureed. You might also like to add 1 Tbsp or so of brown sugar to taste if you'd like to balance the sourness. 
• Transfer to a bowl and set aside.

2) Skirt Steak 

Prep: 

• I find skirt tends to have a lot of silver skin membrane on one or both sides and some hard fat chunks, so I spend five or more minutes removing all that and getting it nice and clean. 
• Give it light oiling and a generous seasoning of salt and pepper. 
• Meanwhile, get a pan or BBQ ripping hot with some oil. 
• If you opted for the "Bougie" salsa, blend up your remaining chiles and adobo sauce in a food processor, and give your steaks a generous brushing over with the resulting paste. 
• Fight back the steak-snob in you that fears pasting brown sauce on a steak will make it taste like a sweet BBQ sauce [Ed. You can almost hear Train grinding his teeth!]. The chipotles will add richness and smokiness that actually complements and enhances the umami flavour of the steak, rather than masking it. [Ed. (giggling) Oh, Train, this is glorious!] 

Cook: 

Now, I might get in trouble for this, as the politically correct answer for how one likes their steak done is generally medium-rare... BUT, I suspect because of the thicker-than-average muscle fibres found in skirt, it tends to turn out more tender if you get it more to the medium end of the medium-rare spectrum. [Ed… sorry Train] 

Rest: 

Allow your steak to rest for at least 5 minutes. 

Slicing: 

Now, this part is particularly crucial for skirt steak. I find when most people go to slice a steak (and you imagine a long rectangle), they simply slice across the shortest direction. If you were to do that with skirt however, you will generally be slicing parallel to the muscle fibres, creating an extremely chewy experience. Because it seems silly and difficult to cut slices down the full, long length of the steak, I tend to split it into thirds or halves first, then identify which direction the muscle fibres are running and slice across/perpendicular to that direction. This means the steak should separate and fall apart in your mouth, rather than your teeth having to break down every muscle fibre. 

Serving: 

Give your sliced steaks a nice salting before serving. 

3) The Rest 

Dice and grill your onion with some oil and a pinch of salt until caramelised and grate your cheese. 

Now, I'm not going to tell you what you can and can't put on a taco, but personally, I find it best to opt out of lettuce and tomato on a steak taco. I would rather preserve the taste and texture of the steak, rather than obfuscate and drown it out with a variety of crunchy, watery ingredients. However, this still leaves room for our salsa and coriander, not to mention our delicious, soft and fat-filled ingredients such as sour cream, grated cheese and even avocado if you like. 

If I could impart one favourite tip of mine in closing, it would be to opt out of microwaving your soft taco wraps. Instead, slap them down, one at a time, straight onto your gas burner or BBQ grill, for 5-10 seconds a side. This will cut back on some of the doughy mouth-feel and enhance the flavour and texture slightly. 

I hope you enjoy this as much as me, and that it helps you find ways of stretching your budget to include some of your favourite protein, perhaps in a fresh and interesting way… Feast on!

Here’s what to look out for 

By Johnno 

Okay, let’s get one thing straight. A good steak from an excellent butcher is always going to be better than a good steak from a supermarket. It’s just the way it is. Good butchers hold themselves to a certain standard because their produce is their reputation, their livelihood and their passion. Whereas supermarkets are typically stocking produce on the basis of mass appeal or popular niche markets (and if you need to know more about that you should probably ask Train). 

The other thing to understand is that the premium quality you might experience at an excellent butcher will come at a… premium. This means that to the average shopper, waygu ribeyes will not be a nightly occurrence. As premium steaks (think tomahawks, ribeyes, scotch fillet and tenderloins) power past the $50/kg at your more fancied butchers, people are turning to the supermarket fridges for their everyday or every other day steaks for $20+ less/kg – fair enough (but don’t forget to treat yourself from time to time too). 

The question is, do you then need to abandon all hope of enjoying a beautiful steak until the finance clears? No. Not at all! 

Next time you’re at the supermarket, just keep these tips in your head and you won’t be sorry.

Fats vs fiction 

It’s true that solid masses of crayon-hard fat encircling a smallish steak can be… unappetising, but that doesn’t mean you should be looking for the leanest cuts. You’ve heard of marbling and you understand that this interstitial fat contributes heavily to flavour. Well take a moment or two to find a packet of steaks that features this magical network of awesome flavour running through it like a roadmap. They are out there (or in there) and your patience will be rewarded. Sure, the fridge doors might fog up a little, but you need to plate great steak… and that matters - a lot!

Colour counts, but not as much as you think 

For years we’ve been taught that red meat should be red – bright red. That’s why rumours swirled (and in some cases, rumours proved to be true) that some steaks, mince and roasts were deliberately touched up with a bit of colour to make them look more visually appealing. Appalling but there you go. But since the advent of vacuum-sealed packs or “vac-pack”) products, things have changed. Obviously with the lack of oxygen within the vac-sealed packaging, the meat will darken significantly and when you break the seal, after a few moments, the colour will return as the meat “blooms”. 

Okay, so we don’t need to worry to much about the colour then? Yes and no. Imagine if you saw a very appetising rosy-red steak in a vac-pack. This is by no means a deal-breaker but it does warrant a pause. And if you don’t like hanging around at supermarkets for ages, maybe that pause for thought becomes a deal-breaker, who knows? Common sense and awareness is key. Always ask yourself – why is that like that? Also, you can always ask friendly staff – see what they have to say. 

Final note on colour. Of course, if the meat is green or has white specks on it, keep looking. Remember, steaks and the like are meant for your tastebuds and tummy, so don’t ignore your gut if you feel something’s not quite right. If in doubt, keep looking.

Treat your steak with care and consistency 

So the steak you’ve selected from the fridge at your local supermarket wasn’t hand-selected and lovingly presented by your quality-obsessed butcher (Shout out to Fussy Meats and Torre & Mordini Gourmet Meats). Does that mean that you should resign yourself to a less-than-satisfactory eating experience. Of course not.Use similar techniques and seasoning you normally lavish on your celebratory scotch fillet, on your “super steak” and, if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll still enjoy a very pleasing result. 

Alright, keep your eyes peeled and… Feast on!

Creating steak magic with mayonnaise  - don't judge... yet! 

By The Bearded Canadian 

If you’re in a bind as to how to bring your steaks alive without resorting to adding sauce, I want to share my latest discovery with you right now. 

By the way, there’s nothing wrong with creating beautiful aromatic sauces to complement your meaty main, in fact, I believe that that is a wonderful skill, I’m now convinced Train has yet to master [Ed. And it’s on!... Yes!!!]. While reliance on the simple wonders of salt, pepper and oil and perhaps some garlic are deservedly praised, the act of maintaining a culinary curiosity is just as valuable. Also, please keep in mind that “resorting” is the key word. What I don’t want for you is to cook a piece of steak, taste it and realise that it’s bland and disappointing. That’s when you find yourself resorting to sauce. And as Train often says, “if you find yourself on the verge of despair and topping a tired steak with tomato sauce, maybe just flush it down the S-bend and retain at least a pinch of dignity.” Harsh but perhaps fair. [Ed. An olive branch?] 

Okay, back to my discovery. Train quite rightly hammers home the fact that when it comes to grilling steaks, salt, pepper and oil are mandatory, but why does he stop there? [Ed. Soooo, no olive branch?]. One of the reasons for applying olive oil is to help bind the salt and pepper to your gorgeous steak. But surely, we can think of and add other ways. I know our good friends at Cheat Meats will often apply a coating of mustard to help bind a rub to their steak dishes and that’s one of the factors that got me thinking. And if you like steak and eggs… 

Logic is a weird thing, isn’t it? If you follow the logic behind certain flavour combinations you’ll chance upon a whole lot of interesting ideas just waiting to be plated up. Take for instance that breakfast (or lunch) staple of champions, steak and eggs. What a combo. Steak and oil, salt and pepper, mustard and steak – they’re all great combos that work beautifully together. 

So speaking of combinations, here’s one that I trialled to take the place of the olive oil combination to bind the SPG: 

Egg yolk, salt, pepper and dry mustard, a touch of brown sugar, lemon juice and vinegar and yes, Train, olive oil – 100% extra virgin olive oil. And yes, those ingredients will indeed make a very nice mayo. But take a look at the images I’ve put together to see, as I did, the difference that the made-from-scratch mayo makes. 

SPG olive oil bindSPG Mayo bind SPG, coffee rub, mayo bind. And yes, I ate them all and they were delicious all in their own way. Hey Train, variety is he spice of life [Ed: and it’s on again!]. Try it for yourself and… Feast on!

Mac Bros' Pork Nesia is now an official FoB favourite 

With Train 

I can’t remember the last time I trusted my reputation, such that it is, on a pre-made and packaged pork rub. I’m one of those suspicious souls that somehow trusts members of the FoB squad and my own vague recollections of my Aunty Vadz’s culinary concoctions and accoutrements to impress fellow feasters. 

You may have already read my brief [Ed. Hilarious!] run-down on my grilled pork loin interpretation, and you’ll remember that I only use a 100% virgin olive oil with salt and pepper to get the job done. On occasion, I’ll fumble blindly through the mists of time to recollect an ancient zesty, Caribbean-influenced salsa as a side, but that’s it. 

So, one afternoon, I found myself at Alex Junior Espresso being heartily persuaded to try a product by Mac Bros called Pork Nesia – a pork rub. Kieran, of Alex Junior fame, is an incredible human and possibly the fussiest and most fastidious coffee impresarios I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing but his pork rub bona fides were um… were unconvincing. Nonetheless, in pursuit of something new I relented and here is my brutally frank assessment of the product, my cook, and the end result. 

Pork Nesia rub – now I remember why we gave you a try 

The product is presented in a tubed container much like millions of other spice concoctions available all over the globe except perhaps Antarctica. The red- themed label and matching ruddy hue of the ingredients had me guessing at the Scoville Heat Units lurking within. Surely, chilli would be a protagonist in the porcine plot. Surely! Aside from that, I went into this with an open(ish) mind. 

The setting: 

I had invited some trusted interstate guests to FoB central to sample the Nesia-dusted and rubbed pork loin entrée: Dman and Pete, both of European extraction, were both gifted notoriously discerning palates - perfect for shredding the appearance, texture and taste of this Nesia-rubbed loin and confirming my admittedly archaic notion that salt, pepper and oil is all pork needs – and wants. The method: 

When it comes to trialling rubs, I never completely abandon the precepts and procedures that have held me in good stead over previous cooks… unless they’ve failed horribly (and that has happened from time to time). So, I still apply my beloved formula of oil, S&P but in lesser proportions. I do this so that I can directly compare the result to what I usually do for a dish. This means that the dish is still uniquely my own but also gives me a better idea of the power, flavour profile and penetration of the rub. 

I then went ahead and applied a generous but not ridiculous amount of Pork Nesia to my prepped loin – dusting the scored skin and fat as well as the flesh on the underside. Of course, I took a moment to smell the rub before application and I found the aroma quite alluring… promising even. 

The result: 

From Dman the Dutchman: 

 After the usual approving nods, post the initial inspection, Dman crunched through the pork crackling and into the flesh itself. Another nod and then, “Oh yeah, nice!” 

A moment later: “Oh Wow!! This has a lot to say… and I like it!” (Chewing) “mmm”, another bite, “Mmm, complex flavours. Very very interesting. Rich, full and again, the flavour profiles tend to form an orderly line and work their way across the tastebuds one by one. Brilliant!” 

From Pete: 

Now this gentleman is not a fan of rich sauces (or any sauce), preferring instead to carry out an honest and exacting interrogation of each element of the rub and the meat unto itself. A dour but fair judge, his comments would be both revealing and uncompromising. 

Silence. 

More silence. 

A glance at me… and then a glance at the Pork Nesia. 

“Amazing!” 

That’s all I needed to hear. Verdict: 

So, what does it all mean? I think my guest judges were both right. Pork Nesia by Mac Bros: 

• Knows when to step up and when to let the pork do the talking. Well-balanced, it plays an able second fiddle to the delicate natural flavour of a nice pork loin without crying out for star billing. 
• Plays well with others (meaning spices). 
• Never lets you forget that you’ve added something wonderful to your pork dish. 

Score: 

A rock solid 8.5/10. 

Thanks for coming Pork Nesia, we’ll see you again soon!

Johnno speaks, we listen... because it's brisket and it's Johnno 

With Johnno 

Plating a brisket that gets the oohs and aaahs, the admiration and glowing adoration that warms the heart etc is great for the ego, but the big reward is knowing yourself, that you are delighted with what you’ve achieved. The hours have not been wasted, the concentration has been rewarded, all is well with the world. While each brisket holds within it, its own secrets, there are some things that we should all know about and I’d like to share what I have found to be… VITAL! 

Okay, put simply, there are 5 things you need to remember to keep your brisket journey on the straight and narrow. 

1. Preparation is key! Make sure you have everything you need before you start so that during the cook you’re not ducking out to get supplies, like rubs which is a momentum/enthusiasm killer. I’ve been there and it messes with your head. Here are some related dot points to remember. 

a)   You’ll always use rub so make double, it’s not expensive, so you may as well. 

b)   You can never have enough fuel, so ensure you’ve got enough wood/pellets/charcoal 

c)   Stock up on gloves: running out could mean a quick trip to… hospital with burns – you don’t want that. 

d)   Avoid the dreaded battery crisis when your temp probe runs out of power…. OH COME ON! Solution: have spare batteries on hand.

Then, run your prestart checks and have everything sorted well before the cook - even a week in advance (Yes, a week! When it comes to brisket things get serious). 

2. Preparation part 2, the must-see sequel. Take your brisket out of the fridge at least 8 hours before (applicable for briskets between 7-11 kg) and take it out of the package at T-1 hour. Doing this will allow your brisket to come to ambient room temperature. This achieves a couple of things, it: 

a)   allows time for the brisket to go from say around 4 degrees (from your fridge) to room temp - that’s a lot of cook time you’ve just reduced and wood-pellets-charcoal you’ve saved. 

b)   helps to avoid overcooking the outside as you strive for the target internal temperature – by the way, you can use the same guidelines that apply to both steaks and roasts. 

3. The pit: Set your pit up with a nice steady temperature, if possible, out of the elements (rain has spoiled my cooks more than once). Get to know your pit as they all are different in their own ways. Here’s a quick checklist to ensure readiness: 

a)   clean the grates 

b)   remove the ash and grease from the baffle plates, deflector plates and or buckets. You don’t need to be servicing your pit during a cook 

c)   keep your wood/pellets/charcoal close when your pit temperature is dropping - you don’t want to be running around in a panic looking for your pit fuel. 

4.  The cook - Why is it difficult to hold steady temp? This is a question that’s plagued me for years. If you’re finding this difficult most likely “it’s not you (I say most likely) it’s the pit.” With a good pit you should be able to set the vents, monitor your temp, add some fuel when the temperature starts to drop, shut doors/close lid and get back to the temp you were at prior to adding more fuel if you’re using an offset. Remember white/dirty smoke must be avoided - this is another section I will cover in a future article [Ed. Presumptuous – I like the confidence]. 

a)   Think about flipping and turning the brisket during the cook and remember, most pits will produce more heat closer to the heat source… [Ed. WHAT?]  I know shocking! Flipping and turning your brisket will even out the amount of doneness of your brisket. 

b)   Use a good temperature probe!! For me, and this is just my personal preference, the MEATER probe is my go-to but I’ll cover that in another article also [Ed. Poking the bear…]. 

c)   If you find your brisket is looking dry, well guess what it is (gasp!) – time to act! Also, if you’re in the midst of the dreaded stall, you can help both these scenarios by basting the brisket in fat - butter or rendered fat trimmings will do wonders to combat these issues. 

5. The rest / resting the brisket: The rest is not history; you need to stay with me for a bit longer because it is just as important as the cook. There are a few more steps to take to make sure your brisket yields the best results. A nicely marbled brisket will need no extra help but if you find you are cooking with something a bit leaner: 

a)   open your wrap and add some fat, be it butter or rendered brisket fat trimming (perfect) to the wrap before you rest 

b)   allow the brisket to cool because if you carve/slice the brisket while it’s too hot, tragically, all your hard work will be undone, all those hours of toil wasted and your pride (probably) in tatters for the sake of just a few minutes. But let’s not keep you guessing. Here are some warning signs that your brisket is too hot to carve: 

          i. Steam! If there’s excessive steam, it’s too hot 
          ii. Ouch! If it’s too hot to hold while carving it’s too hot 
          iii. if you find it oxidises after carving, it’s too hot. You’ll notice oxidation when a freshly cut, nicely presented slice starts to turn dull and grey – that’s not very visually appealing to you or your guests. 

Remember practice, practice, practice!! 

Final thoughts in really short sentences. Take your time. Let the meat do its thing. Don’t panic. Enjoy the experience and take note of what’s going on. 

Pro tip: Ignore the family and friends when they ask “when will it be ready?” and if you find yourself no longer able to continue for whatever reason, put the brisket in your oven at around 100c and continue the next day.So, go ahead, reread this piece, keep it close and ready yourself for the next triumphant brisket parade. Motivational tip when things get difficult:  Visualise the wows and gasps as you slice and present pure, pristine, awe-inspiring brisket to your audience and…. FEAST ON!

One Canadian’s take on that critical first dish of the feast 

By The Bearded Canadian 

The big night is approaching. You’ve got the ribeyes, drinks and music all sorted, you checked (and double-checked) that the gas bottle is full(ish), and against all odds you managed to turn the outdoor patio into a half decent feasting forum. But as you think through what the night’s menu will look like, you still feel like it’s lacking a little ‘je ne sais quoi’ – that little something extra that will elevate your humble soiree from just another night around the barbie to, ‘now THIS is a BBQ feast!’ But what to do? 

The answer? An eye-catching, mouth-watering entrée. 

This will set the tone for the rest of your night. Now if you’re hoping your feast is going to go the distance (and live long in the memory of your guests), you’re going to have to land some shots early in the fight (Ed. wait are we still talking entrées or have we moved onto MMA?). The ribeye may be the knockout blow, but the entrée gets them to drop their guard, setting you up for the win – a quick combo that makes a statement and reminds your guests why they are there. [Ed. Wow, MMA, boxing, feasts, knockouts, it’s all here]. 

So, 3 things to consider when considering a memorable entrée 

1. Size and portion 

Like I said, an entrée should be quick. As in quickly and easily eaten. Think small, bite-sized and preferably mess-free. People are arriving, catching up with each other, so, initial gasps of awe and wonder notwithstanding, the entrée should add to the conversations, not disrupt them.

2. Impact 

The entrée should be eye-catching. People eat with their eyes so get some colour on the plate. If you offer chicken wings, consider garnishing with thinly-sliced green onion or red chilies. They not only add flavour, but they attract the eye which creates excitement and anticipation. At this point, feasters are experiencing relish, awe, joy, and they haven’t even started eating!

3. Flavour 

There’s no denying that flavour is the most important part of the dish but in the case of entrées you want to focus on flavours that whet the appetite not quench it. Remember the party is just getting started and that ribeye is still coming! If the main course is going to be salty and savoury, balance it out with something more aromatic (like the Bearded Canadian Vietnamese Prawns) or sweet and spicy (like House of Goff’s Korean style wings)? Not only will this bring a smile to your fellow feasters, but it will also set them on a flavoursome feasting sojourn deep into the night.

I guess the big tip out of all this is to appreciate that the entrée is the all-important opening or support act to the main event and it deserves and requires its moment in the spotlight if its going to be a feast to remember. [Ed. Really thought you going to go with the whole undercard thing.] 

Hey, if you have a favourite feast opener, hit us up on our socials or email us at feaston@feastonbeasts.com 

By Train 

“Don’t screw it up!” 

That’s the phrase a lot of you might have echoing through your brain as you unwrap a richly marbled, plump, 2-inch-thick ribeye that cost anywhere between $45-65/kg. Chances are you bought two or maybe even three of them which means you’re obviously cooking for an audience. And let’s face it, because we’re all friends here, in a group of say 5 guests, one of them will find it funny if you do overcook or undercook or in some other way mistreat your sizable investment in a sizable feast. 

“DON’T screw it up!!” Yup, it gets louder. 

But let me help you quiet that unhelpful negative self-talk [Ed. Amateur psychology as well, Train? Impressive.”] Here’s what you need: 

• A formula 
• A rule 
• 5 steps to remember 
• 3 ways to have fun with it. 

Full disclosure, I’m a purist of sorts and I don’t like using temperature probes. I generally just… use the force. (Ed. Okay, Luke…) The problem is that relying solely on gut feel does mean that you need to corral every ounce of concentration you have and keep it laser focused on the grill the whole time. This is great if you’re all by yourself and you know you won’t be distracted by the need for a drink, the toilet, your phone, blinking etc. That pretty much rules out being sociable or having a good time when people come over. These 10 tips based around my 50-40 rule will help you out. 1. Room temperature ribeye is the best ribeye. As per previous guides, do not take your ribeye from the fridge and put it on the grill unless you enjoy humiliation, scorn, waste and derision. Instead, leave it out to arrive at room temperature in its own sweet time. We love a 1-1.3kg ribeye from our friends at Torre & Mordini Gourmet Meats and have found that it can take a good hour or more to get to where we want it to go temp-wise. 

2. Moisture is still your enemy, and it always will be. It’s a huge steak so you’ll need two or three squares of absorbent paper towel to pat it down and make your steak presentable. 

3. Get your guests involved. Properly seasoning say 3 of these monsters is a big job, particularly if you’re using standard salt and pepper grinders. By the way, there are few better forearm exercises than grinding enough salt and pepper to cover these delicious portions. If you don’t want forearms like ham hocks, simply pour salt into a bowl, pepper into another bowl and sprinkle liberally. LIBERALLY! Remember, a lot of this (up to 30%) is just going to disappear. 

4. Olive oil. The debate still rages on within the FoB ranks as to whether the oil comes before or after the seasoning. I say after, some of the guys say before… try it both ways. But make sure you use it. Okay so some will say, hey, what about mustard, what about coffee rubs etc. That is strictly to taste. Personally, I do ease up on the S&P if I know I’m going to use a coffee rub but, I shy away from mustard etc if I’m familiar with the cut and trust my butcher – I want to taste the richness of the meat, glory in the abundance of marbling and generally celebrate a cut unsullied by additional flavours. If I’m not sure about the cut or I’m feasting away from FoB central, anything goes in the name of experimentation – obviously drawing the line at salad… obviously. 

5. The 50-40 rule. Again, you want to be social, enjoy yourself, while also making this whole adventure seem effortless. That means you’ll need breaks in the play, hydration and banter. Well, here’s your chance. Just before you pat down your three, four, five or more ribeyes, preheat your kitchen oven to 50 ˚C (or thereabouts) - fan-forced. When the time is right, you’re going to arrange all these stunning monuments to bovine goodness on the middle tray and leave them there for no less than 40 minutes. But we also found that this rule works at 40 ˚C for 50 minutes or 60 ˚ for 30 minutes. The mathematicians among us have already cottoned-on to the fact that they all add up to 90. 6. Take a break, laugh, shoot some hoops, shoot some pool, shoot the breeze, it’s all good! Eat some of those entrees, forget about the ribeyes and enjoy yourself. You just spent a lot of money on premium steaks, relax and enjoy yourself. But stick to the formula. 

7. PANIC! No, not really. Calmly remove these huge hunks of deliciousness from the oven and display them to a stunned crowd of guests. Brilliant! The waiting hotplate next to the grill should be white hot (figurately speaking) and the sizzle when you lay your steak upon it should rival the sound and temperature of jet afterburners. Glorious! Sear each side for 30-60 seconds but treat the fatty side to a generous 90. 8. Timing is everything and depending on your preferred level of “doneness”, grill each side for between a minute and two minutes. Remember the tip from the porterhouse cheat sheet in the last issue? After the turn, slide the steak down to the cooler part of your grill. 9. R ‘n’ R. Rest and rumination. Leave your herd of steaks to rest on the board under an untucked aluminium foil canopy for an agonising 7 minutes. By the way, you won’t last that long – no one can. 

10. Adoration time. Remove said canopy with your own trademark flourish, present, slice and fall back into your chair, pretending to be spent. You are a champion, your place in steak lore is now secure and it remains only for you to… Feast on! 

I feel like you know this already but just for easy reference, here are the internal temp. guides for you once again. 

Rare = 48˚- 50˚  Medium Rare = 52 ˚- 54 ˚   Medium = 58 ˚- 60 ˚ 

Chars!

By The Bearded Canadian 

Okay, why are we here? Answer: to have a whale of time creating beautiful, succulent meat dishes that will eventually pass into legend. One of the important steps towards creating said legendary dish is of course, seasoning your chosen protein. But there is seasoning and then… there is seasoning. I hope you’ll come to recognise mine as the latter. 

And the reason I create and experiment with spices is that making your own spice allows for better control of taste, texture and quality, not to mention saving you some serious dosh!  [Ed. The bearded one is really embracing Australian vernacular and we love it!] 

So without further ado, here’s my take on the classic Montreal Steak Spice – here’s what you’ll need: 

• 4 Tbs mixed whole peppers  
• 4 Tbs Coriander seeds 
• 2 Tbs Whole All Spice 
• 4 Tbs Dill seed 
• 2 Tbs Granulated Garlic 
• 2 Tbs Mustard Seed 
• 4 Tsp Sweet Paprika 
• ½ tsp Korean chili 
• ½ tsp red chili flakes 
• 1 tsp Aleppo Chili flakes 
• 3 Tbs kosher salt 

Now one of the best things about rubs is that you can change them up. It's entirely up to your tastes, add more or less salt, up the heat with different types of chilli or even consider adding some rosemary for even more depth of flavour. It’s up to you. 

Pro Tip: toast the whole seeds by placing them on a dry pan at medium low heat. (No need for oil). When they start smelling fragrant remove from the pan (don’t leave them on for longer than 5 mins) let cool, then grind them to your desired coarseness. In my humble (Ed. Funny, I like it) opinion, toasting spices give an entirely different and more sophisticated flavour profile. 

I've added this spice mix to a cheap and cheerful scotch fillet to boost the flavour! Don't be afraid to apply generous amounts of rub to give thicker cuts like this. Remember to coat all sides and pat down for best results. 

N.B. Spices start losing their flavour as soon as they are ground but by grinding your own whole spice and keeping them in an airtight jar you will keep them fresh for weeks. You can opt out on grinding your own, but why would you? Just takes a few pulses on a blender or spice grinder or… get those forearms a workout with the ol’ pestle and mortar. Come now. You can do it… it’ll help you grow a mighty beard.

Huzzah! Enjoy, and let me know how you go at feaston@feastonbeasts.com

Wow!!

The Bearded Canadian, Train, House of Goff & Johnno 

Let’s start with a brief, one-paragraph history lesson/backstory: 

It was a spring day in 2016 on Sydney’s Circular Quay when Train scrawled “Feast on Beasts” on a diner napkin before returning his weary gaze to the immensely dissatisfying salad double-parked in front of his tiny steak. He hankered for a truly beautiful steak, perfectly cooked in a kitchen full of passionate cooks, thrilled to be alive and creating meat dishes, and embracing their calling. “I can’t be the only one thinking like this,” Train lamented. 

Fast-forward past a trip to IP Australia, a transcontinental relocation and 4 years later, Feast on Beasts was born: a tight-knit community of passionate meat lovers, presenting beef, pork, lamb and poultry-related reviews, rumours, feasting facts and fiction and fashion – and these are the people that helped turn that miserable lunch into a Feast for the senses. 

Train is always hungry, loves a garish feasting shirt and believes that an appetite is like any other muscle in the body – it can be trained to get bigger, stronger and more formidable. But it takes effort! 

Talent/superpower: defeating science with unusual cooking methods, banter, never giving up – at the feasting table. 

Specialty: steak, crackling pork loin bites with seasoned crackling, cold hard opinions. 

The Bearded Canadian sports a beard that would put most lumberjacks to shame but is known for his panoramic range of culinary tastes and insatiable appetite for gustatory parlour games and challenges. 

Talent/superpower: culinary creativity, seeing beyond the carcass or cut before him and dreaming up enticing entrees, mains and stunning starters. 

Specialty: Ham, pork shoulders, poultry curios, repartee, Canadian accents. 

House of Goff knows things that we don’t when it comes to burgers, hot sauce and the science of meaty repasts. Genuinely humble and soft spoken, his dishes scream perfection, attention to detail and rich flavour. 

Talent/superpower: maintaining a measured, logical approach to preparing and presenting feasts, even if chaos abounds; and consuming (and relishing) fiery hot sauces. 

Specialty: Smash burgers, chicken wings in many and varied um… variations, food (okay meat) science. 

Johnno the enthusiastic smoker, brisket whisperer and pork platter presenter with the golden olfactory senses, deconstructs sauces, rubs and recipes in general, with an unsettling confidence and unerring accuracy. Talent/superpower: the easy answer is, plating up peerless portions of pork and brisket but it’s the detail, the ingredients, the flavour combinations that set his work apart from the rest. 

Specialty: Brisket, pork, chicken varietals and lesser-known beast-based meals – buffalo, crocodile to name two.

6 tips to tip the scales of good taste in your favour during Christmas 

with The Bearded Canadian 

“I simply love taking seemingly mundane or run-of the-mill, ‘safe’ dishes, like a leg of ham and creating something memorable that might, one day, make it into the Festive Meats Hall of Fame – a man can dream. So here are some pointers that hopefully, you’ll be able to remember today, tomorrow and for many festive seasons to come.” The Bearded Canadian, magnanimously sharing his thoughts, hopes and aspirations for porcine yuletide meat dishes. 

(Ed: Warning, The Bearded One had Train, translate his words and thoughts into words and pictures… and even more words so... hang in there.) 

1. Aluminium foil is your friend, respect it, keep it near and cover a roasting pan in it for easy clean up. 

2. And like all friends, aluminium foil will stick by you, even during tip number two. Cover your ham with foil with a cup of water (to keep your ham moist) in the bottom of the oven for 30minutes at 160˚C. 

3. Fat is also your friend (go figure) but skin is your enemy so, get rid of the ham skin (Ed. Sounds weird, just sayin’.) but keep the fat! 

4. Score the fat and salt it lightly with your choice of flaky salt – just the fat mind you. And no, it won’t make it too salty. 

5. Time to get your glaze on. Mix and match sugar types – it fun and delicious. I favour a brown sugar, maple syrup and cherry juice combination. Crank the heat up to 200˚ C. Uncover ham and glaze every 15 minutes for a final 45 minutes. 

6. Stare steadily into the eyes of your relative most prone to ladling out criticism and as you place the platter of hammy goodness in the middle of the table, stage-whisper, “Voila!” 

...Another triumph! 

If you try this and love it, please let us all know. If you have questions, fire at will, feaston@feastonbeasts.com is where to send your thoughts and yes, we will reply.